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Warning Signs He/She
May Not Be The One
By: Lucia
Weve all looked back on past relationships and said, What was I
thinking. Problem is, you werent thinking. You were caught up in the
chemistry and the wonderful feelings of the moment that you chose to
overlook some warning signs that there may be trouble up ahead. Here
is a list of things to look out for when dating:
CELL PHONE USE: Theres a new disease in town. Its called cell
phoneitis. People afflicted with this cannot tear themselves away
from their cell phones. Theyll accept a call 24/7. Being out with
someone like this can be annoying. Its almost like youre not even
there. If you start dating someone and find out they have this
disease, you can point out your displeasure – ONE TIME ONLY. If they
persist, forget them. Its rude and disrespectful behavior on their
part and we dont tolerate that, now do we?
DRIVING BEHAVIOR: If you want to know what someone is really like, be
a passenger in a car with them. To quote an online traffic school: The
stronger the self-image that drivers have, the less threatened they
will be by what happens around them. Identifying with one’s vehicle is
a symptom of a weak ego. Insecure people imagine everything that
happens on the road is a direct threat to them personally. Someone
cuts them off, and they must retaliate: “Who do those people think
they are to cut me off?” The irrational thoughts of insecure people
can keep them constantly upset. Gee, this sounds just like the type of
person Id like to date. Not!
ME! ME! ME! : I once met a guy that had a one track mind. That is, all
that was on his mind was himself. He went on and on about all his
accomplishments. I thought it was finally turning around when he said:
Enough about me, tell me about you. Before I could get a word out, he
was back to his favorite subject! Yup, himself!! What a total turnoff.
I think guys are guiltier of this than girls. Sorry. Guys know that
some women will be impressed by what theyve done, who they know, etc.
They go on and on thinking theyre getting somewhere (closer to the
bedroom?). Smart women dont fall for this. We want to engage in a
conversation. If we want to see a one man play, well go to the
theatre!
BOO-HOO-HOO: Dont you just love hanging out with someone that is
always complaining? Ah yes, the joys of seeing the glass as half
empty. Theres always something wrong or someone that has done them
wrong. Arrive at their pity party with some cheese for their whine if
you plan to stick around. If not, RUN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
SHES A PSYCHO/HES A JERK: If you believe in the law of attraction
(we attract/are attracted to that which we are), and the person you
start to date says their ex was a psycho or a jerk, what does that
make them? You guessed it. Does that mean you too are a psycho or a
jerk? Only if you choose to stick around. Just remember, one day YOU
will be the psycho or jerk theyll be complaining about to someone
else.
NAME CALLING: Im surprised at how many people put up with this. What
is one of the main reasons for being in a relationship? Because your
life is enhanced as a result of that person being in it. Does being
called a bitch or a loser make your life better? I can understand
someone saying that youre being a bitch or youre acting bitchy, but
the next time someone says Bitch! to you, youre only answer should
be, Youre right. I am a bitch. Im a Babe In Total Control of
Herself as you walk out the door forever.
ORAL SEX: In all my years of dating, Ive only run across one guy that
didnt want to do oral. In general, girls may have more of an issue
with it than guys. Either way, its not a good sign, especially if
its important to you. I have a girlfriend whose husband refuses to do
it. The poor girl has been relegated to just dreaming about it when
shes asleep. Since oral sex is an acceptable part of sex in the 21st
century, if someone is unwilling to partake, they obviously have
issues. Whether you stick around to see if theyre willing to work on
those depends on you, but just keep in mind that this is always a red
flag.
HANGING UP: Weve all hung up on someone or had someone hang up on us.
However, at a certain point, we grow up and realize we cant just go
around hanging up on people when were upset or frustrated with them.
The proper way to deal with this situation is to say something like,
I dont want to talk to you right now. Im going to hang up. Bye. If
youre finally at this point and someone hangs up on you, you may
think twice about dating them. There are bound to be other maturity
issued involved. If however, youre still hanging up on people and
someone hangs up on you, then stay together. Those of us that have
grown up dont need you on the dating scene bothering us.
SOAP OPERAS: This is mainly with respect to guys. Soap operas are the
television equivalent of Harlequin romances and just like Secret
deodorant, they may be strong enough for a man, but theyre made for
a woman. I just dont think guys have any business watching soap
operas (sorry CBS, NBC and ABC) unless they are actually on the show
and they want to check their performance.
I LOVE YOU: Anyone that is professing their love within a few weeks
or a few months of meeting you is being insincere and immature. You
have to know someone before you can truly love them. Yet people are
throwing this phrase around left and right and before you know it, the
relationship is over. Its better to err on the side of caution and
take too long to say it than to rush it. Of course I dont have to
tell you that yelling this out for the first time during a moment of
passion doesnt count.
There are two things that separate me from almost everyone reading
this: Awareness and attitude. Im aware of the red flags and I have
the attitude that I will not stick around once I see them. Now that
your awareness has been raised, what will YOUR attitude be?
About the author: Lucia is a dating and relationship expert,
columnist, lecturer and host of the TV Show “The Art of Love”. For
more articles or to ask Lucia a question, go to: http://www.theartoflove.net
To view a clip from the tv show, go to: http://www.worldnetcast.com/artoflove/RedFlags2.htm
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