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Dating A Professional
By: John Jones
At one time or another and maybe in some people’s cases all the time
we’ve dreamed about dating a rich guy or gal. You know the successful
lawyer or doctor or the on the edge entrepreneur. It’s that perfect
scene we play in our head that allows us to see things just the way we
want them to be but in reality dating a professional single may not be
quite so picture perfect. Now I don’t mean that in a negative sense I
mean that more in a realistic, scheduling, goal reaching, aggressive
What is a professional single?
I guess in technical terms it would be any single person who holds a
“white collar” job. A business owner, a executive, a doctor, a lawyer,
I think you get the idea. Someone who probably has a college degree,
maybe several, someone who is driven to succeed, who probably enjoys
the finer things in life, who doesn’t like excuses but relishes
results. A person who wants to make the most out of their professional
life. They are not satisfied with a 9 to 5 career but are instead
looking for every opportunity to succeed as far as they can in their
given field. Does that make them a bad person? Does that make them a
person who cares for no one but themselves? Hardly, in fact the world
needs driven individuals like a professional single. Can you imagine
where we would be if the Romans had not had so many driven people or
if the Egyptians had decided that thinking big was too much? I’m not
trying to get into a history lesson or morality debate here, I’m just
showing what a person who is trying to get the most out of themselves
can do. A single professional is certainly a person trying to get the
most out of themselves.
What are the downfalls to dating a professional single?
Like any relationship involving two people you will always have
downfalls so don’t be under the impression that dating a professional
single will be any better or worse than dating the non-professional
single. Those factors lie more in who the person is not what their
career is. I mean if you date a jerk, you date a jerk. Whether he has
on a $1500 suit or a pair of Levi Overalls, he’s a jerk. OK, so what
are the downfalls to dating a professional single?
Time away from home – This means time away from you
The job is always on their mind – You might be out on the perfect
dinner date but if a big deal is in the works you should not be
surprised if the cell phone rings and it’s answered.
Perfectionism – They may not be the tidiest person or remember to
bring flowers but in some way all highly driven professionals are
Job is first – Can you play second fiddle? Although this may not be
true in every sense but in many ways the job will come first.
How to avoid the downfalls of dating a professional single.
Time away from home – Of course they’re going to be going to the
office everyday, maybe out of town once a week or more and maybe even
over a weekend in fact if they are very driven, you can expect all of
these and more. Late hours, early mornings, numerous days in which you
may not see each other and might not even speak one on one. The
remedy? Communicate. Have an ongoing calendar, it won’t be perfect as
things change but it’s one tool in communicating. If you can see a
schedule it will help you understand what’s going that week or day.
Always talk once a day. Both of you must be committed to speaking to
each other daily. It might be for only 5 minutes at 2 a.m. but it will
make a difference.
The job is always on their mind – In every persons professional career
especially early on they are given responsibility to get the job done.
This may entail them following up on every detail at all hours of the
day and night. You must understand that this is part of working your
way to the top and even more importantly the professional you are
dating must understand that although they might have to take a call at
dinner they should keep it as brief as possible and let their
colleagues know that a call should only be made if it is extremely
important or critical in nature. Communication once again plays a role
in the relationship, for all parties involved.
Perfectionism – How hard is it to be perfect? Well since no one that
I’ve ever met is, it must be impossible. That being said we probably
all have idiosyncrasies that some would consider a trait of
perfectionism. Professional singles are no different, they must have
details or actions within their jobs that require perfectionism
otherwise the product or service they produce would be substandard
which is not the mark of a successful professional. Take the
perfectionism in stride and recognize you probably have some traits
that drive your partner nuts. Identify, recognize and adapt. Those
three words will go along way in helping you and him or her overcome
The job is first – Ouch, how can someone put something before me?
Guess what, this happens whether the person is a professional single
or a everyday man. Something’s always going to be important to someone
and there may come a time when they have to choose you over that
activity or function. Although this is a very black and white
statement the truth is there is no easy answer for this question. In
the case of a job you would have to look at each incident to determine
the worth. For example if you had a date planned at 7 and you get a
call at 6:45 that something came up at work it’s ok to be upset but
more importantly you need to judge the moment. Without being a nagger
you should find out what is so important that it can’t wait until
tomorrow, if the answer is valid then you must put it in context with
the relationship overall. You knew going in that the career of the
person was a big part of their life so you should accept that with
that commitment to career comes some sacrifice on your end. However if
you find out the reason for the cancellation is not a 911 emergency
but a 411 pizza call then you should re-assess the person immediately.
This would be a case of someone who is not honest, respectful or
committed to having a relationship.
Let’s summarize: Dating a professional single will probably entitle
you to a lifestyle that leans towards the finer things in life and
would probably ensure a future of financial stability and a golden
retirement. Dating a professional single will also bring you many
hours of you time, interrupted plans and until those retirement years
a backseat to the demands of a successful career. If you are a person
that can see a person for what they are and accept them for those
strengths and faults and if that person meets what you deem as the
perfect mate then dating a professional single is probably the best
thing you will ever do.
About the author: John Jones writes dating articles from a
professional single standpoint. His website is http://professionalsingles.netfirms.com
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