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8 Deadly Dating
Mistakes To Avoid! by Marie Clare
Are you dating or in a serious relationship? Did you realize that very
often we make the same dating mistakes over and over again? I’ve
compiled a list of dating No-nos which will help you identify a
possible problem that you can work on to improve your dating
experience.
#1 – Playing Games:
When it comes to dating we all have a fear of rejection. This is human
nature. So playing it cool and not getting too involved with others
makes us feel safe. Only problem with this is you may come off as
being cold and aloof. For many people this is a real turn-off. And you
may find the date of your dreams slipping away. The best way to find a
loving relationship is to be real. People will be far more receptive
to you if they believe you are genuine.
#2 – Moving too Fast:
Ladies, this one is for you. We all fantasize about our future and the
man of our dreams. Again, this is only human. But, do you find
yourself testing out his last name with yours and you haven’t even
gone out on a third date yet? Well, if you do it’s time to remind
yourself to Slow Down. Here’s why. Normally for the first 3-8 months
of a relationship we are running on euphoria. So, until you’ve had
time to get to know a person, and spend time with him to see what he
is really like, it’s best not to get to far ahead of yourself. If your
expectations become to high you may find yourself heading down the
path of heartache, and losing the date of your dreams. Slow Down!
#3 – Are you always talking about your ex?
Carrying old baggage into a new relationship can be disastrous. Sure
we’ve all had previous relationships, and yes your new love will find
out about them. But, if you are constantly complaining about your ex,
or always comparing your current love to your ex, it will get real
old, real fast.
Instead, take some time to get to know this person. Give yourself the
opportunity for a new start. Try to work out any old problems before
you start up a new relationship.
#4 – Red Flags:
What are Red Flags? Well, here are some, but there are plenty more.
– Someone you were scheduled to meet doesn’t show up and has no
reasonable explanation as to why.
– Someone your involved with will not give you their home phone
number.
– He/she will not introduce you to family or friends.
– He/she won’t go out in public with you.
– Being cruel to a pet.
– Being disrespectful to a parent.
Yes, all of these are Red Flags. And, Red Flags should not be ignored.
#5 – Thinking Obsessively:
Are you a worrier? If so, don’t let it ruin your relationship with the
date of your dreams. Many people will worry over a relationship, even
before it has a chance to really get going. You’ll worry over what
he/she said, or what your response was to something said. You’ll worry
over whether the relationship is moving to fast or to slow. Or whether
the relationship is working at all.
#6 – The Interrogation:
Do you want to know every detail of someone’s life, and try to get it
out of him/her on the first date? Well, you can’t, not on the first or
even the second date. If you come off as “The Interrogator” your new
dream date will soon become tired of answering all your questions and
move on to someone else. Just relax, let things happen naturally
through simple conversation. Soon you’ll know all there is to know
about you new friend. So relax and just have some fun with your new
date.
#7 – What about your needs?
Do you want kids, but, he/she does not? Did you tell him/her you want
kids or are you just going along with his/her idea of life? You must
be able to directly communicate your needs. If you don’t, you will
spend your time in a relationship without having your needs met. You
need to know what your own needs are and what his/her needs are before
starting a serious relationship. When talking about your needs be
assertive. Not bossy, naggy or demanding. But, tactful and direct.
#8 – Sacrificing too much:
Do you find yourself doing things to show someone you care that you
would never do other wise? Are you letting yourself be used as a
“doormat”? Usually this sort of behavior is associated with low
self-esteem. Please realize that in any healthy relationship both
parties must be treated as equals. And both parties must have their
needs met. If this sounds like you re-evaluate your relationship, and
if your are not happy get out. There is someone out there who will
love you for who you are, without you having to jump through hoops to
prove it.
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